The Expat Doctor

“Hi, is that Vikram?” she asked as she entered the Coffee house and saw the handsome, lone young man seated next to the window.

He stood up and shook hands with her, as he gave her one of his shy, yet charming smiles.

“You must be Parul. Nice to meet you.”

Parul – Dr.Parul Joshi was here on a blind date – a date set up for her by her parents. She was here to meet Vikram Hooda, a young engineer who had been introduced to her parents through their network. Parul’s parents were interested in making Vikram part of their family – by getting Parul married to him. However Parul was totally uninterested in marriage, so she had decided to meet Vikram and end it all before it started.

But as she shook hands with the tall, well-built, handsome young man she subconsciously changed her mind. She sat down and they began their very first conversation.

Vikram was soft-spoken and polite, irrespective of all his achievements. He was also an excellent listener. They talked – actually Parul talked for hours, and he actively listened to her. She told him about her childhood, her college and her medical studies.

She had completed her Bachelors in Medicine and Surgery (MBBS) from a top Medical school in India. She had recently started working with a hospital in Bangalore, and was thoroughly enjoying her work. She loved and truly believed in her profession, and dreamt of being of great service to mankind in future.

Before they realized, it was past dinner time. Parul had never before felt so free and talkative. There was something about Vikram that made her talk and open up. Something about his smile made her forget the world. She was clearly falling in love with him! When she entered the coffee house, it was with the intention of ending the dialogue before it started, but at the end of the two hours, she felt as if she could go on talking with this man forever!

And her wish came true – in the next six months Parul and Vikram were married in a grand wedding ceremony in Bangalore.

After marriage Parul continued to work with the hospital for several months. Vikram worked for a large engineering company – he was well known in the company for his intelligence and his great attitude. His work was well rewarded and soon he was promoted to higher ranks. With his promotion came additional responsibility and opportunity. His company offered him an Expat opportunity to move to Germany for three years.

He came home with the great news.

“Would you like to go on an extended holiday to Germany?” he asked Parul.

“What do you mean?”

“I have been offered an Expat deal to go to Germany for three years. I can take it if we want.”

“Three years? That’s a bit long. What does this deal mean to us?”

“Well, it is an expat deal – so, we will have a luxurious life – in addition to a solid pay package, we will have a fully furnished and fully paid-for house, we will have a car, when we have kids their school fees will be paid too, we will have domestic help, first class air travel, paid holidays, free air tickets for our families. The list goes on. Honestly, to me it sounds like a great deal. There are at least six people on my team who would die for this deal. But I will totally understand if you want me to decline.”

It all seemed too good to be true. Parul had heard about Expats in the past. She had an uncle who had been an expat in Malaysia with his family. She had seen their lifestyle and had been quite impressed by the same. They had everything she could dream of! A bungalow, a luxury car and exotic holidays! She had seen some of their pictures at fancy restaurants, ski resorts, five star hotels. Their children went to international private schools, and their education was all sponsored by the company. The family had a nanny, a driver, a cook, a cleaner – a lifestyle only few could imagine to have.

Wouldn’t she like to have all that? Perhaps yes, but then, what would she do in Germany for three years? She was a qualified doctor, could she practice medicine there? Well, visa restrictions on expat families do not allow them to work. So only Vikram would continue to work and she would have to stay back home – with all the riches & luxuries that the expat deal promised, it would indeed become a rather extended holiday!

She thought about it for a long time – financially it made a lot of sense. It would be a great experience for Vikram professionally. From her own perspective, having an international, expat life for a couple of years would not necessarily hurt – yes it would mean she would take a break from her hospital for three years, but would that make her an obsolete doctor? - probably not. So she decided to say yes.

“Let’s do it Vikram. It will be an adventure. And, I wouldn’t really mind taking that extended holiday you talked about.”

Within the next two months they were on a flight to Frankfurt. Their exciting expat life in Frankfurt had now begun. They were delighted to land in this beautiful, enchanting city that was not only an industrial & financial powerhouse, but also a culturally rich destination. Parul knew from her research that Frankfurt was one of the most preferred expat destinations in the world – the standard of living there was great with sound housing, excellent public transport, non-existent crime, low unemployment and superb international expat schools. Both Parul and Vikram were happy and thankful to have had such an opportunity.

The first few days were spent settling down. The company had provided them with a large, posh apartment that was not far away from the city center. The apartment was in a relatively quiet part of the city that was largely inhabited by expats with families. They spent the week furnishing the place, and getting to know the neighborhood. Their immediate neighbors were expat families too – one from Argentina and another from Italy. They received a warm welcome from these new friends, as they gradually settled into the new place.

Weekends were spent exploring the beautiful city, and the surrounding regions. The Imperial cathedral, St Paul’s church, all the medieval buildings, the opera house, museums – they visited each and every tourist attraction and spent hours admiring the beauty of the city every weekend. They also travelled around, exploring places outside Frankfurt, and outside Germany too. A romantic vacation in Paris, a weekend in Brussels, A holiday in Rome, An adventure in Amsterdam, A historical tour of Athens – they visited every exotic destination in Europe over the following few months.

Weekdays typically were quite busy. Unsurprisingly, Vikram would remain busy at work from Monday to Friday. But surprisingly, Parul would also remain busy from Monday to Friday! When they had started planning their move to Frankfurt, they had feared that Parul would get terribly bored of doing nothing. However, life here was not boring at all! Parul had become a member of the Expat wives club. She had made a number of expat friends there. These were all highly sophisticated and educated women from all over the world.

While their spouses went to work, they often planned their own activities together – visit to a spa, tour of a museum, movie evening, a shopping day on the Zeil or Goethestraße  – which is where one would find the highly classy, designer shops. Parul had slowly, but surely developed significant interest in designer brands.

All in all – life was great for Parul and Vikram. A year passed, and they did not realize how fast time had flown away. Amidst all the enjoyment and holidaying Parul realized that she was pregnant. Both of them were delighted to get the news, and spent the following few months preparing their lavish apartment for the baby’s arrival. They bought an expensive crib, a pram, a car seat, baby clothing, toys.  Parul’s expat friends threw her a very fancy baby shower too!

Finally the little girl Leila arrived. Parul’s parents visited to meet their granddaughter. They were immensely pleased to see how happy their daughter was – what a life style she had! They were very proud and content as they returned back home.

With the little baby, came a nanny who helped Parul. She also took great care of the baby when Parul was busy with a kitty party or another ladies event. This was not very frequent, but Parul did take a break from the baby atleast once a week.

Time continued to fly as she enjoyed her extended holiday. Soon the three years were over. One day Vikram came back home from work and asked Parul if she was ready to go back.

“What do you mean go back? Can we not stay a bit longer? Can your contract be extended another term?” she asked.

“Well, I can get the contract extended by three more years, but I thought you wanted to go back.”

“Not really Vikram. We are happy, aren’t we? And little Leila will have a great school here if we stayed back. She will start school this September.”

Vikram agreed and they continued their expat life in Frankfurt.

Their daughter grew up and started school – the international school that taught English and German. They were very proud of their girl as she was trilingual – she spoke Hindi, English and German. Parul continued to make several new friends at school – the mothers of other kids.

Years continued to pass, and it was Leila’s fifth birthday. That afternoon, she had to be taken to her pediatrician for her vaccinations. Leila was a surprisingly brave child when it came to doctors and injections. She was not nervous at all, as Dr. Davis inserted the needle into the little arm. Dr. Davis was a kindhearted, warm woman. After the injection she gave Leila a little lollipop. The little one was super-excited as she took her reward from Dr. Davis.

After the doctor visit, the family of three started driving back home. Leila was on her car seat, and was in a deep thought. Parul wondered what she was thinking.

“What are you thinking of baby?”

“Thinking of the doctor, mumma.”

“What about the doctor, dear?”

“I like the doctor. Why are you not a doctor mumma? You know, I want to be a doctor just like her.”

For several seconds Parul went completely blank. Her daughter had asked her why she was not a doctor.

Well, somewhere on the way Parul had forgotten that she was in fact a doctor. Would her little girl believe her if she said that she was a doctor too? Would she ever say “I want to be a doctor like mumma”?

Parul remained silent. Only Vikram could hear her silence. As they got back home, she excused herself and drove away. She stopped close to a little garden, parked the car and sat down on a bench.

There was much thinking to be done. Where could she start? Could she start with that “gold medal” she had been awarded years ago for her exemplary performance at medical school? Or could she start with her dream of one day becoming a great doctor who would service mankind?

She started questioning these achievements as tears rolled down her cheeks – “Am I really a doctor? Who am I?” she asked herself.

Here in this beautiful town that she called home, she was known as “An expat wife”, “wife of Mr. Vikram Hooda”, “An expat mother”, “Mother of Leila”. Not a single person knew her as Dr.Parul.

She suddenly started feeling like a stranger in the enchanting, pretty town. She knew every corner of it, but no longer felt like she belonged here.

With a heavy heart and a mind full of unorganized thoughts she drove back home. It was her daughter’s birthday, so her little friends had all arrived. She stood in a corner and watched the children play. They were playing a game facilitated by an animator called “Be your mommy” – each child had to play his or her own mother.

A little girl came up wearing an apron – “I am mommy, the chef of the family”

Another little girl came with a handbag and a comb “I am mommy, I am lovely”

Finally it was Leila’s turn. Parul wondered what Leila would say. She looked at Vikram who smiled back approvingly. Leila came walking with a plastic stethoscope and said “I am mommy, I am a doctor”.

Parul smiled as she saw the show. Vikram walked next to her and held her quietly.

“I had forgotten that this was an extended vacation, Vikram.” She said.

“And now the vacation is over my dear, it’s time to go back to work, Doctor.” he replied.

The Alarm Clock

“Wake up you lazy fella!” yelled Arin as he pinched the arm of his ever-sleepy room mate Tony. Tony gave a growl in his sleep, turned around and went back into his slumber. After 10 minutes Arin kicked Tony lightly on his leg “Hey sleeping beauty – snoring like a beast – wake up now!” Another growl, slightly louder this time, but nothing more than that from Tony. After 10 more minutes, Arin came with a jug full of water and splashed it on Tony’s sleepy face “Stop ‘snoozing’ me like that – okay? I am not an alarm clock! Wake up right away ‘sleepy sleeperson’” Now Tony had no choice. He jumped off the bed wiping his wet face, while yawning out loudly. The two room-mates got ready in the next few minutes and rushed out to take the test – that day they were taking the final test of the semester on computer networks: an important day for all the candidates studying Computer Science & Engineering at the university.

Arin and Tony had been room-mates and best friends for over a year. They had moved to the university campus in Pilani – a small town in the Rajasthan region in India, about a year ago. They were randomly put together in one room by the hostel authorities. Arin came from the southern state of Kerala and Tony was an expat from Singapore. They were very different – they liked different food, had different habits, spoke different languages and had different approaches to address similar situations.

Arin was always an early bird – woke up at 6 AM sharp. He had been doing this since he was a child – it was part of his daily regime. He always went for a quick jog in the morning before he started his day. He was always on time at school, and was considered one of the most reliable and trust-worthy individuals at the university. He came from an upper middle-class catholic family from Kerala. His parents were professors at a local university in Kochi. Arin was trained to be highly methodical – he always followed rules and processes.

Tony was a late starter – he slept late and woke up late. He was a “nonconformist” - a brilliant young lad who had a number of unique and different ideas. He did not necessarily follow rules – in fact, he had a knack of bending rules to his convenience to get tasks done. Born and brought up in Singapore, he was half Singaporean and half Tamilian – his dad was from Singapore and mother from Chennai. He had always lived in expat communities and had travelled around the world.

With all their differences, one thing that they had in common was their open-mindedness and curiosity. That made it very easy for them to live together and enjoy their student life irrespective of all their differences. On most occasions they would complement each other. Arin was the methodical, process-driven perfectionist, while Tony was the free spirit – ready to explore ideas outside of the box, try new approaches and bend rules if not break them. Together they made a solid team. They also learnt a lot from each other – Tony started appreciating some of Arin’s processes and Arin started finding Tony’s unusual ways interesting.

Tony always depended upon Arin to wake him up every morning – Arin was really like an alarm clock. He never slept a minute after 6 AM. And every morning after his short jog, he would wake Tony up. Not once did Tony wake up in the first attempt. Arin felt like an alarm clock that is “snoozed” over and over again. And then out of frustration he would jump to extreme measures such as pouring a jug of water on Tony’s sleepy face!

They were both studying to become software engineers, and worked on a number of different projects together – some as part of their regular curriculum, and others out of their own interest. They built many interesting programs and applications that could work on different devices.

Togetherness was not limited to work - They also had parties, picnics, movie nights, trips, a bunch of drunken adventures –everything you could possibly imagine a couple of twenty year olds to do!

Before they realized it, they had reached their final semester. The students were all planning their next moves – jobs, entrepreneurship or more study. Tony decided to pursue a career in research and started preparing for the same. He received an acceptance from MIT to pursue a Master’s degree in computer engineering followed by a PhD. It was exciting! Arin on the other hand wanted to pursue an MBA. Top business schools recommended candidates to have firsthand professional experience before they applied. So Arin decided to take up a job. He was offered a software developer role at a bank in Mumbai. The role was very well paid and was a great stepping stone for his next steps – an MBA in finance from an international Business school. He decided to accept the opportunity.

Soon it was time for the graduation ceremony. Everyone was excited and happy to receive their diplomas and they were all looking forward to their upcoming careers. Of course, they were sad that their fun student life was coming to an end. Arin and Tony in particular knew that they would be missing each other. Soon after the ceremony Tony had to embark upon a flight to the US. He had to get to the New Delhi Airport from Pilani. Arin joined him and his family, to say goodbye at the airport. When they reached the terminal, Arin handed over a little box – a present for Tony. “This will replace me buddy – it has a snooze button too” he smiled.

Tony boarded the flight and opened the box – it was an Alarm clock. Yes, he was going to need that in his friend’s absence.

A number of years passed. Tony had completed his graduation and his PhD at MIT. As a result of his high caliber and excellent research credentials, he had been offered the position of Associate Professor and research scientist at the Stanford University – department of computer science. He had accepted the offer and had been working with the university while continuing his ad-hoc research work. He was still a free-spirit and a nonconformist, but thanks to the 5 years spent with Arin, he had learnt to appreciate methods and rules. He was one of the most respected computer scientists in the world of academia. He was also a well-known figure in the business world, and his consultative advice was requested frequently by digital businesses all over the world. Every year he took a 2 month break to visit an underprivileged village in India or Africa and gave free computer coaching to young children. He was very much involved in philanthropy and was much admired for the same.

Tony had remained in touch with his old friend – at least in the few years after graduation. Arin had followed his dream too – after 5 years of professional experience at the bank in Mumbai, he had applied to top international business schools. He was accepted to pursue an MBA in Finance at the London Business School. He had completed his business studies with flying colors and had become an investment banker in London. He had started as an analyst with an international investment bank, and very quickly had moved up the ladder from being an associate to being a Director.

The job of an investment banker is a coveted, financially rewarding one, however, it comes with significant stress. Routine working hours for a financial analyst at an investment bank could be 90 to 100 per week. People often have misconceptions about investment bankers – that all they do is number crunching, financial data modeling & projections. But in reality investment bankers spend a lot of time with clients – social skills are very important to be a successful investment banker. Arin had it all – he was highly analytical, and at the same time was great with clients. He was hard working and never had a problem working extra hours. Often he would have to work late nights, which meant, he would often wake up late too – Tony’s old alarm clock had surely lost its rhythm!

Arin’s workaholic life continued – he worked a lot, and he earned a lot too. Soon he became a very rich man, and earning money became an obsession to Arin. The young man who was once very particular about his rules and had always followed them, had now become an expert at bending them if it meant more money.

His bosses were very pleased with Arin – he always helped them make more money. He always found creative ways to involve and engage with investors and take their money tactfully. He never ever broke the law and the rules, but he very nicely worked around the law to ensure that his bank, his bosses and he himself were becoming richer and richer.

To begin with, this caused no problems to anyone; however a few years after Arin’s marriage things started to get harder – his wife was not a happy woman! They had a child together, but Arin rarely saw his family – he was so obsessed with work and money – it was an addiction.

A few more years passed – now the contact between Tony and Arin had been reduced to “Happy Birthdays” – no, that’s not true. It was limited to Arin’s birthdays – Tony never missed wishing his old friend – but Arin had always missed Tony’s birthdays. Arin had started gaining weight and losing hair and though he was barely 42, he looked a lot older. Excessive work, lack of exercise, unhealthy eating habits, stress – you name it and Arin had it all. The last thing that one would want at this time was the news of a divorce.

Arin’s wife filed for a divorce and claimed the custody of their only son. Not that it mattered much to Arin – he was completely drunk by work and money – it was as if he was in a deep slumber and nothing could wake him up from that.

Arin’s old mother was immensely unhappy and disturbed to see the life of her only son fall to pieces – even worse, her son did not ever realize that his life was falling apart! All he cared about was more of what he already had – money, and the stress that came with it!

Arin had no friends that she could turn to, so she decided to call his old friend Tony. She broke down as she explained to Tony what had happened. Tony was not very surprised to hear about these sad developments in Arin’s life. On several occasions in the past he had tried to persuade Arin to change his life-style. But Arin had ignored all his advice and had turned a complete deaf ear to Tony’s words. But now, things had gotten out of hand – Arin’s health, his family, his friends, his ethics were all leaving him, and yet, he was not willing to wake up from his craziness. He had received so many alarms in many different ways, but he had conveniently “snoozed” each and every one of them!

Tony decided to pay a visit to Arin at his lush house in London. He made up an excuse of a European holiday and came to see his old friend. Unsurprisingly, Arin was not there at the terminal to pick him up, but he had sent a chauffeur driven Mercedes to pick Tony up. The car took Tony to Arin’s house. His old mother welcomed Tony, and told him that Arin was at office – as usual. After some rest, Tony took a little walk in central London and came back home at dinner time, with the hope that Arin would be back. But there was no sign of Arin. It was past 10 PM, and Arin’s mom suggested they ate dinner. As she was serving Tony at the dining table the phone rang – it was Arin’s subordinate from the bank. Arin had just been admitted to the hospital as he had suffered a sudden heart attack.

Tony rushed to the hospital and waited for the medical procedures to be conducted on Arin. After a while the doctor informed Tony that Arin was now out of danger, and that he had been administered some sleep medication so that he rested for a few hours. Tony sat next to his friend and held his hand. He had tears in his eyes to see Arin in such a state. He wept for a long time remembering their old days together at the university. What had Arin gotten himself into! He was always the reliable, methodical chap – could he not have applied a few of that methodical thinking to his own life? How did things get so unbalanced?

He had Arin’s hand in his as he was thinking and reflecting on the past. There was a time when he had depended on Arin – his best friend to wake him up every morning from his slumber. Arin had been his alarm clock, and today Arin was fast asleep – asleep in his obsession for money and power: so fast asleep that so many triggers, signs and alarms had failed to wake him up. Tony wished that his friend woke up from that slumber today. “Wake up brother, wake up” he said softly.

A few hours later it was morning. Tony was next to Arin as he opened his eyes.

“Tony! Sorry I wasn’t there to receive you. Have been rather busy you see.” He said. “And then had these sharp pains in my chest last night, and they had to get me here. I hope I get out of this place soon. I have an urgent meeting to attend today”. Tony was utterly disappointed to see that Arin had “snoozed” the alarm once again!

“You will be released in a few days Arin. You cannot attend that meeting today. Do you know you had a heart attack? Your bank has been informed that you cannot return to work today”. Tony said, realizing that he had to do something else to make Arin wake up. Later that day, he met with Arin’s wife. She was shocked to hear about Arin’s heart attack, and agreed to help get Arin out of his addiction.

Arin was unhappy to hear that he would not be going to the bank for days – what could the bank do without him? He was indispensable. His presence at meetings was absolutely required. He was the one that made things happen! He thought that his colleagues and supervisors from the bank would be rushing to the hospital to get him. He waited all day – but his phone never rang. He had no visitors from the bank.

The following day he waited again – no visitors from the bank and no phone calls. The only people he saw around him were his mother and his good friend Tony. In the afternoon per Tony’s advice Arin’s wife and son came by to meet him. They stayed with him the rest of the day. It was literally the first time he was spending time with his son, who started telling him stories from school. Arin had never really played the role of a father, but he found that he was enjoying his son’s company – he was actually enjoying it a lot. His son was just as curious, methodical and intelligent as he was. He started remembering some of his childhood days as he saw his son ask all types of questions. That made him smile, that made him really happy!

For the first time, at the end of the day he felt “happy”. He asked his wife if she could bring their kid along again the next day. She agreed. They did this every day for the following 15 days. Arin’s mother, his wife and son kept him great company, together with Tony. Tony could see that slowly, his scheme was working. Arin was getting closer to his son.

There were no visitors from the bank. Arin gradually realized that the bank did not really care much about him. All he received from them was a “Get well soon” card – not a single visit, nor a phone call.

He had given away several years of his life making the bank richer – years that could have been spent with people around him: people who really cared for him – his wife & child, his mother, his best friend. He had taken them all for granted. But ultimately when he was about to die, they were the ones who stayed with him. They gave him the strength to survive. They made him happy and gave him the motivation to live longer.

After the 15 days, Arin moved back home. His family and his best friend were with him, and they celebrated his return together. “Will you be returning to work soon Arin?” Tony asked.

Arin smiled and looked Tony into the eye; he took a deep breath as he said “I have sent my resignation to the bank a week ago, Tony. I have finally woken up from my slumber – thanks to you all.

Friend, thank you for being my alarm clock – I kept snoozing you whenever you advised me to change my approach towards life, but you kept trying, until I was finally awake. Thank you for waking me up today.”