Tear of Joy published on Amazon

Tear of Joy is now published on Amazon.
A book of 14 short stories about every day life, that will touch your soul.

Here is a preview of the book:

https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B01DGMPRW4&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_vaz-wb0PYRKKD

The Secret Santa

Jeremy was visiting his friend and her family ahead of the Christmas holidays. His friend had a son, Timmy who was 5 years old and went to a private Montessori school in the town nearby. Just a couple of days before Christmas eve, he came back home with a story – a new little boy had just joined his school. He had moved to France only a few days back from Nepal. The Montessori school had some type of an “exchange program” with their sister organization that was based in Khatmandu. According to Timmy the new boy Rishi was the only kid in the class who had no Christmas list. He had nothing to demand from Santa! All others had discussed their lists at length during the lunch hour, and Rishi had nothing to say. Timmy had asked Rishi an innocent question– “Have you been bad all year Rishi, that you don’t even have a list for Santa? I wonder what you did”. Rishi’s response was – “Santa does not visit kids with no families.”

Jeremy was intrigued by the story. Although he had no children or family of his own, he did love children. He had no desire of having his own family in the near or far future, but he did enjoy being around children and teaching them craft work, sports, games, songs and other fun activities from time to time. He decided to meet the Montessori head mistress to learn a bit about Rishi. Why was he here? Who was he?

The next day he visited the school and met the head mistress. He learnt a few sad facts about Rishi. He had lost his family, his home and everything in an earthquake. He was pretty much all alone now. Since the Montesorri in Nepal needed help to place children who were orphaned during the tragedy, they had asked for help from their French partner. The French Montessori had agreed to adopt and sponsor one of the kids for two years – and that was Rishi. Rishi lived as a “paying guest” with an old couple – the couple was paid monthly living and food expenses for accepting Rishi for the 2 years. After 2 years, he would be moving to another unknown place, depending on sponsorships – would he find something in France, the headmistress did not know. If not, he would be returned to Nepal, and would have to find his living and education there.

Yes, it was heart-breaking indeed. Jeremy was a kind-hearted man and could not stop himself from thinking of adopting the boy. But could he ever be a parent to a child? He had been a nomad for most of his adult life. He travelled from one place to another, and made a living by writing novels and occasionally performing at music concerts. He was sure he could not take the responsibility of having Rishi live with him, travel with him, and live off a modest and often uncertain income.

He was not a rich man. But he did have a small fund that his grandmother had left him. He decided to give away the fund towards Rishi’s upbringing and education. He took a deep breath and made a couple of calls from the head-mistress’ office. She was thoroughly surprised to see him donate whatever little he had towards the orphan. “Please think again Mr. Jeremy. Are you sure?” Jeremy was sure ofcourse – he was always sure of himself.

So he did it. “Madame, I have one request for you though – do not tell Rishi who his sponsor is. I do not want him to be in touch with me, certainly do not want him to thank me – I do not want him to think of this as a favor to him, because I am not doing him a favor. I am doing this for myself. I am alone, I have no family, and I know what it is like to be all alone. I see myself in Rishi – I want him to have a decent life, if not the best one.

My donation can take care of his very basic needs in France until he turns 16, and then he will manage by himself – hopefully he will be smart and hardworking enough to earn some scholarships after that!”

The headmistress agreed – this was the first time she was meeting somebody so selfless! Jeremy took out a little wrapped book from his bag and handed it over to her. “This is a little present for Rishi – from Santa Claus. I shall take your leave now, the funds have been transferred and you will have all the paper-work in the next week”

As he walked out, the 5 year old little Nepalese boy was rushing to the library with 4 picture books with him. He was startled to see Jeremy and accidentally dropped the books down. Jeremy bent down and helped him pick up the books. He placed a soft hand on his head as he stood up, and said “Books are great friends, aren’t they?” The boy looked up nervously and walked away.

That evening the headmistress called Rishi to her office and smiled politely. She handed out the little present and said – “Santa has a present for you Rishi - this book and something else. He is giving you the means to continue living in France with your new friends and teachers. You don’t have to worry about what happens after two years. You will be happy here. We will give you all that you need.”

Rishi had a broad smile on his face after months! While he was probably too little to understand everything, he did know that people needed money to live and learn. So he was happy that Santa was taking care of that for him.

Years passed, Jeremy’s life went on – moving from place to place. He published a few books, though none of them was a real best-seller. He continued to live off his little income as a writer, a pianist and a singer.

On this side Rishi continued to grow. At some point he learnt that Santa Claus was fictitious. So who was the secret person who had sponsored his nice & cozy life in France? He wondered. When he turned 16 he had graduated from high school. The headmistress called him and informed him that he had won a scholarship to continue with his university studies in England. Every year the school offered a scholarship to the most promising kids, and Rishi was no-doubt an excellent candidate for the same.

Rishi was ready to leave for England, but before he left he went to say goodbye to the headmistress. He asked her “Madame, who is the generous soul that sponsored me? I would have been a no-man if it weren’t for that generosity. I would like to have an opportunity to thank him. Can you not give me his contact?” The headmistress was tempted to tell him about Jeremy, but kept her word. She said “Rishi, it really was Santa! It was secret Santa. All I want you to know is that he was not a rich man financially, but had a rich heart. He gave away whatever little he had to support you, without any expectations. He said that he did not want to be thanked, because he was not doing you a favor. He was doing this for himself.”

Many more years passed, and Jeremy was now an old man. He lived off his little savings in a tiny apartment. He could not afford house-hold help, so had to manage his meals by himself. His extended family sometimes visited him and offered to help out, but he always declined. And they never insisted.

One day as he was taking his regular morning walk in the park, he suddenly went blind. He had a stroke and collapsed on the ground. Hours later when he opened his eyes, he was lying on a comfortable bed in a rather cozy room with a window, a closet, a beautiful lamp and a television. There was also a writing table with some books, papers and pens. He wondered where he was; a kind-looking woman entered the room and sat next to him.

“How do you feel now? You must be wondering where you are. Do not worry, you are safe and you are in a happy place”. She said.

“Where am I and who are you?” He asked.

“You are in the Secret Santa Old Age home. One of our volunteers found you lying in the park this morning. You had a sun stroke. He asked a few people in the neighborhood if they knew you, and many of them did. They told him that you were Jeremy Mathews who wrote books, who taught children, who played music and who lived alone in the apartment next to the park.”

“Our volunteer brought you here so we could take care of you until you got better. And of course, if you agree, you can make this your home forever. Here you will have friends, you will not have to cook and clean, you can focus on your writing and music. You can continue to teach children if you wish. We will take care of you.” She said.

Jeremy chuckled as he said “You are very kind Madame, but I cannot afford it. I don’t have a lot of savings to pay you. So, as much as I would want to stay, you will have to put me away.”

“No Mr. Mathews, you don’t understand. We are a fully funded old age home. We do not take fees from our guests – all our guests are just like you. They don’t have the resources to take good care of themselves. I can assure you that our entire team will be delighted if you would accept our invitation and stay back with us.” said the kind looking woman with a smile.

Jeremy did need help to get on with his old age. So he was happy to accept the invitation to stay at the old age home. “Who runs this home? I mean who provides the funding?” Jeremy asked. “A kind man who wants to give back – we call him Secret Santa” said the woman. God bless this donor, Jeremy said to himself. He did not inquire further – there are lots of good people out there who do good deeds, he thought.

The woman left Jeremy and went back to her office. A few minutes later she had a visitor. “Please come in Mr. Baral. It is so good to see you. I have the progress reports on all our guests ready on this folder. You can take a look. They are all happy and healthy. Today we have a new member added to the family, Mr. Mathews who is a writer and a musician. I am sure the others will enjoy his company”. Mr. Baral smiled and thanked the woman for her hard work.

“Mr. Baral, can I ask you a question please? Why do you do this? Why don’t you reveal your identity to the guests? You have been doing a great deed, and I wonder why is this kept a secret?”

Mr Baral said thoughtfully – “You see Madame Julier, I do not want our guests to thank me. I do not want them to think I am doing them a favor, because in reality I am doing this for myself.

I would not have been what I am today if it had not been for a kind, generous man – my Secret Santa who sponsored my early years in France. Till date I do not know who this man was, and I will probably never know him. But the Secret Santa charity homes are a tribute to him.”

They shook hands and Mr. Rishi Baral, who was a well-known industrialist in town and “Secret Santa” to the old guests in the old age home and to the numerous other men, women and children in the chain of charity homes, walked out of the office. As he walked out, Jeremy was slowly walking towards the library with a few heavy books in his old and fragile hands. Accidentally he dropped them down. Rishi ran to him and bent down and picked up the books – “Books are great friends, Aren’t they?” he said as he helped the unknown old man to the library.

Father's Day

From a Father’s Diary –

June 17^th 2028

I start my life after retirement today. I have worked hard for the past thirty five years, and finally now, I have the time to reflect and think about things that have always been important to me – like my little girl who is today far away from me. She flew away just a few months back to a different land – a land of opportunity, to pursue her higher education. She thinks she is not-so-little anymore – she is twenty, but to me she will always be my little girl – a piece of my heart.

I remember the day she arrived into the world – I was on a flight to Stockholm, I was obliged to attend a client meeting which was of utmost importance for my company. If I declined, we would lose the contract, and I would probably lose my job. How would we – me, my wife and the little one be able to afford a life of comfort (and occasional luxury) if I was unemployed? So, with a huge weight on my heart, I checked into the flight, while her mother was in the hospital in labor. Her parents were with her thankfully. I was physically on the flight, but my heart and my mind were not with me. The worry and guilt of not being there with my loved ones when they needed me, were keeping me awake and disturbed. Was there anything I could do at this time? Not really. So I sipped a glass of wine and closed my eyes trying hard to sleep. What an irresponsible father I was – not being there to welcome her into the world!

After 2 days of meetings I returned home – I could not wait to hold my little girl. She looked like a red alien creature – so beautiful. My throat was all dry, and I was overwhelmed when I held her in my arms. I whispered in her little ear – “I am sorry I was not here to receive you when you arrived. But I want you to know that I will always love you the most, and do my best to give you the best I can”

As she started growing up, she started looking more and more like her mom. She also tried to behave like her mom – trying to dress-up like her, talk like her, cook with her. “I want to be like my mumma” she said. All our friends said – Isn’t she a mini-me of her mom? She surely is a mini-me of her mom. And why wouldn’t she be? Her mom spent a lot more time with her than I did. I would leave for work before she woke up, and return from work when she was almost ready for bed. I would travel for work once every week – attending meetings all over the world. It was her mom that stayed with her and brought her up. She heard her bed-time stories from her mom; she went to school with her mom; her mom cooked all her lunches and dinners; her mom took her to her ballet lessons and her piano classes. But she loved me nevertheless – never complained about my frequent absence. When I was around, she would cling to me.

When she was 3 years old we started thinking of her education. We mutually decided that we would send her to an international school nearby – it was expensive, but it was one of the best in town. We wanted her to have the best we could give her. It was her first day at school. We were seeing each other on skype – yes, didn’t I say, I was again not there physically. I was in London attending a conference. I could not get myself out of it – it was an opportunity for me to develop business with a number of prospects. So, she was with her mom, getting ready for her big day! The first day at school! And I was watching them from a distance, from my hotel room in London. How I wished I was with them! How I wished I could see her off at school on that first day! Again, what an irresponsible father I have been!

At school, every year she made a Father’s Day card and a present. One year it was a beautiful heart made of cardboard, with the impression of her little palm in pink. The next year it was the picture of a house painted over a slate. Another year it was a white cap with some art-work all over it – in different colors. My little girl has never missed a single Father’s Day – So I have 17 hand-made presents from her in my drawer (She started doing this since she was three!). I have kept them safely there – they are my most treasured possessions. I was almost never there to receive these presents, either because I was travelling or because I reached home late, and she was already asleep after waiting for me. I would find the present on my bed – on the pillow, and I would quietly open it, go to her bedroom, kiss her gently on her forehead and keep the present in the drawer. Almost every year, I would weep silently in the bathroom for having missed another Father’s day. Each year was a reminder of what an irresponsible father I was! I was never there to receive the presents made by my little girl, with her little hands!

Today, I have finally retired from my long career. I have all the time now, to play with my little girl, to sing with her, to take her to her school, to grow up with her! But it is too late now – she is no longer little, and she doesn’t really need me to do all that for her anymore. I have missed all my opportunities. I have not been a good father; I have never been available for my little girl, and I have to live with it.

I do miss her now, but it is midnight already. I shall call her tomorrow to check how she is doing. I think I shall call it a day for now…

He wakes up the following morning and makes himself a cup of coffee. He is sipping his coffee while reading news on his tablet, and the phone rings. He answers. “Hello Sir, we are calling from DHL. There is a courier we have for you. If you are home our man will be on his way to deliver it”. He normally would not be home, but today is his first day post retirement, so yes, he is at home to receive the courier.

A few minutes later the doorbell rings. He opens the door, makes a signature and picks up the courier. Who could it be from? He opens the box and inside there is a book. He has tears in his eyes as he looks at it – it is called “The Father’s Day”, and the author is His Little Girl! It is hard to believe – his daughter has published her first book, and it is called “The Father’s Day”. He is fearful now, that the book will tell the world about what an irresponsible father he has been.

He opens it and starts reading –

Dedicated to my hard-working father… who has always been there for me.

Dear Dad,

You have worked hard all your life – just for me.

When I was born, and you weren't around, I know you were saving not a mere sales contract or a “job”, but your family’s happiness and security. I know you did not want to leave me, but you did - just for me.

When I went to school with mom, and you weren't there, I know you were facing all the unfairness the world had to offer – just for me.

When I waited for you, and you came late to find me already asleep, I know you were finding ways for making life happier – just for me.

I know it was not easy for you to leave your little girl and go to work, go to face the world, so that I had everything I needed and desired.

As a little girl, I always felt protected and secure, to know that although you were not with me all the time, you were always there for me.

I know you have saved the seventeen presents I made for you, every Father’s Day. I also know that you look at them from time to time and you treasure them more than anything else. This year’s present is this little book of stories that will remind you of the good times we have spent together – some in reality, others in my imagination.

His eyes are filled with tears as the phone rings. He answers, and it is her.

“Daddy, is that you? Just called to say – Happy Father’s Day! You know I love you.”

Hide and Seek

“Bye mom, see you back in a couple of hours”. “Bye my dears”…

Okay, I now have the house to myself – the two kids are off with their dad for some biking time.

Since I have the house to myself, I shall invite the four women for tea. They have such conflicts and fights when they are together; today let me try to sort them out. So I call them all, and they agree to join me in my drawing room.

I go inside the kitchen to fix some tea and biscuits, and when I am out, they are all there – seated around the tea table. They do not speak with each other; they are only looking at each other grudgingly – so much hatred and discomfort in that room. Wow, this is not going to be easy.

I try my best to stay positive – I serve everyone tea with a smile, and say – “Listen ladies, let’s face each other today. I can see that you all have concerns with each other. Communication is important – let’s speak out, and resolve our differences today. You find it hard to get along with each other, I know. But let’s talk about this openly and sort it out. You know it disturbs me and makes me unhappy, when there is conflict between any two of you. So it is in my interest to ensure you are all comfortable with each other”

My four guests – the mother, the wife, the home-maker and the corporate executive all agree that they have to sort out their differences & challenges.

The executive starts with her perspective – an assertive woman, strong personality and well-known for her strategic thinking and problem solving skills.

“My typical day is not an easy one – I have the responsibility of a whole business unit. I am responsible for a team of fifty five men and women across the continent. In the current economic context, my team and I face business growth challenges. You all have to understand, that unlike you, I am always on the run. I am a very busy woman, and don’t have time for anything but my work. I want to be successful! And as a woman executive, I face a number of challenges and hurdles on my way to success. My company, like many others, is male dominated; I have to put in a lot more effort than my male colleagues to ensure that I am heard, and that I am visible. Amidst these challenges and difficulties, when one of you suddenly pops up, I get absolutely disturbed.” She said looking at the other three.

“Especially you”, she said pointing to the mother. “Last week, I got a call from the school when I was in the middle of an important presentation with the senior leadership team that was visiting us from our HQ. Out of nowhere you popped up and answered the phone! My day was a mess after that – you simply took over and rushed home to pick up your sick kid. What an impression I made on the senior leaders! No wonder they selected my colleague – a man, to lead one of the most interesting and high-visibility initiatives for the company, although I was the one who had done all the hard work and research of setting things up. You messed it up for me!”

The mother – a loving, kind and friendly woman protests, “What an unfair statement to make – I messed it up? Really? What were you expecting me to do? Stay there, without answering the phone and leave my sick baby to suffer? Excuse me for taking that call, but I do think it was more important than your presentation – you will have many opportunities in the future to make your mark at office, but I have just these two precious children – they mean the world to me. If anything were to happen to them, just because I did not answer that call – to protect your presentations and meetings, I would never forgive you for life.”

The executive tried to retaliate, but the mother continued “And you talk about me popping up and disturbing your busy day, but what good are you? Every evening when I pick up my children from school, you pop up and start checking emails on the phone. At the dinner table when my children try to speak with me, and tell me stories about their day, you pop up again with your phone – sometimes checking emails, and at other times speaking with your team about office-stuff. I own the post office hours – I need that time with my children, and you disturb me, not once or twice, but every day. I should be the one complaining about your ‘popping up’, and not you!”

“And you two” she continues pointing at the wife and the home-maker “you are no good either. One pops up and starts doing the dishes, when the children are calling out as they want to spend time with me, and the other, pops up, trying hard to get the children to bed as early as possible, so that she can spend quality time with her husband!”

The tired and frustrated home-maker almost yells out “do you think I enjoy my day-to-day tasks? It’s all about cooking and cleaning and washing, so that you and your family have a happy, healthy life! If I do not pop-up, the house will be a mess! You Executive Lady – you will have no suits to wear to your fancy presentations. And you Mother – your children will have no lunchboxes if I don’t pop-up. And you Wife – your husband will end up doing the cleaning and cooking if I don’t show up. You will be the guilty one then, won’t you? You all need me – you see? So stop complaining about me popping up – you cannot live without me.”

The fun-loving wife has not said a word so far. She looks pretty upset with all that has been said so far “All of you simply eat away the day. I have been married for fifteen years. And over these years, my time has only diminished with you ladies taking over my day. You, executive lady – never have you left me alone with my husband during a vacation. When we are on a romantic date, you suddenly pop up out of nowhere and start answering “urgent” calls – all your calls are urgent. You followed me even to my honeymoon!  

And you mother – since you have made an entry into our life, you have pretty much taken over. When I try to strike a romantic conversation with my husband, there you come and start talking about your children’s school, and teachers and projects and friends. You simply cannot stay away from us even for a few minutes! And you home-maker – you are the worst of all! When my husband wants to hug me in the kitchen, instead of letting me enjoy the moment, you rush up and start with the “i-am-getting-late-let-me-finish-this” or the “this-is-too-hot-be-careful” stories, and the moment just dies off. So if there is anyone who should be complaining it should be me!”

Yes, this is not going to be easy. How can I resolve this complicated relationship the four of them are in. I don’t want to eliminate any one of them from my life – I need them all. So they have to live together. Otherwise my life will not be a happy one. How do I help them collaborate and co-operate with each other?

There is silence in the room now, with the four of them trying hard not to look at each other. I open my mouth –

“I think I can help resolve the conflict we have here. Have you played the game of hide and seek? Everyone, except one of you hides. The one that is not hidden stays active and the others stay hidden. When need arises the active one will seek the hidden one that has to take over, and will in turn go into hiding herself.

Why don’t you play hide-and-seek and try to ensure that only one of you is active at a given point in time? When the executive is active and working with her team, the three of you stay hidden. Do not show up, unless you are needed. If you have to show up during the executive’s busy day, be sure to apologize to her team, and promise the executive to return her time back to her in the evening, or over a weekend.

 When the mother is active with her children at dinner, the executive does not pop up even if the phone rings. If she had to, then she excuses herself first, apologizes to the children for putting their mother in the hiding place and takes over only for a few minutes. The same would apply to the home-maker – do not take away time from the mother or the wife. Pop up when you are called.

Yes, there would probably be moments when more than one of you would popup together, but if you tried to minimize such moments by following your rules we will all achieve equilibrium. Why don’t we try this game of hide-and-seek and see where we get?”

They all agree; they are not necessarily friends yet, but agree to play the game together.

The tea is almost done and the doorbell rings – it is the children back from their biking. I smile at the four of them and they smile back. The executive, the wife and the home-maker slowly go into a hiding and only the mother remains. She opens the door for the kids and is ready to listen to the biking stories!