Snakes and Ladders

Jay and Sergey were sitting at the table facing each other as they intently enjoyed their game of Snakes and Ladders. Jay was reaching the point of completion. His heart beat faster as there was a long, scary snake, with a wide open mouth waiting for him at “98”. If he landed on 98 he would slither down to score 8, and would have to play his way up again. But if he avoided the 98, and went straight to 99 or 100, then he would win the game! But it would all depend upon the dice! He rolled the dice as his mother Naina called them downstairs.

“Jay dear, time for dinner! Can you both come down here please?”

So they had to tidy up and go downstairs where their parents waited for them to start dinner.

Jay, his mother Naina and father Yash were from Mumbai and had moved to London a couple of years ago. Yash and Naina worked with a large consulting company and their 7 year old Jay went to an international school nearby. Sergey, his mother Irina and father Vlad were from Moscow. They had been living in London for over fifteen years. Sergey and Jay went to school together and loved playing with each other. The two families lived close to each other and the parents took the same train to work every day. Thus they had become close friends and often had their weekend dinners together.

As the kids approached the dinner table, the two fathers were engrossed in a serious debate – a debate about “Choice” and “Chance”. The boys were not interested in the discussion and did not participate. They were eager to finish dinner, and return back to their game of snakes and ladders.

“You know Vlad, I do think that it’s all a matter of chance after-all. You see, I met Naina by chance, I found this job with my consulting firm by chance, this opportunity to come to London for work – that happened by chance too. So I do think that life is a matter of chances!” Said Yash.

“Yash my friend, you met Naina by chance, but you married her by your own choice! You accepted that job by your own choice, you accepted the opportunity to come to London by your own choice – none of that is a matter of chance. I strongly believe that what happens to us in life – is really the result of choices we make. Sometimes the choices are the right ones, at other times they are not the right ones.

So listen now, Irina and I have been given this opportunity to move to New York. But this is not a chance my friend – we worked hard to be considered for this opportunity. And now, I get this promotion to lead our American operations from New York. Irina’s company has agreed to transfer her there too. Now, again, it is a matter of choice for us – should we take this opportunity? We have almost made up our mind – we will be taking this up. I shall be signing the contract tomorrow!” responded Vlad.

“How could you do that dad? I was never even consulted? I don’t want to leave. I will miss my friends – I will miss Jay! Jay, you should go with us too.” argued Sergey. Jay and Sergey were indeed best friends – quite inseparable.

“Well, Sergey. I am sure Jay and his parents will visit us in NYC. We will be missing them too. I hope Jay’s mom and dad find an opportunity in the US soon, we will all live together again then. What say Yash?” said Vlad.

“Well you know, again this has happened a bit by chance – my company is going through a reorganization as a result of a recent merger. And now, all expats are going to be transferred back to their respective offices. So in reality, we may soon be moving back to Mumbai. Not sure we want to, but we may have to!” replied Yash.

The discussion went on for a while and soon it was time to retire for the day. Sergey stayed back for a sleepover, and his parents went back home – which was right next door.

The next morning started with the usual rush – the boys got ready for school, the dads went to drop them off and then took their train to work.

As soon as Vlad reached his bank, he received a phone call from his old mother in Moscow. It was not good news – his father had taken very sick and his mother needed help and assistance from her only child. Vlad had no choice but to pack his suitcase and rush to Moscow. Irina and Sergey stayed back, until there was more news from Vlad. Within 2 days they received news that Vlad’s family needed prolonged help – they would all have to leave for Moscow for good. They had to, unfortunately, decline the opportunity to move to New York. Jay and family were very sad to bid good bye to their friends. Sergey and Jay wept a lot and promised to stay in touch with each other on Facebook and Skype.

On this side, Yash, Naina and Jay had started their preparations and packing to move back home to Mumbai. The merger was almost complete and very soon they would get the confirmation and their air tickets to fly back home.

Just then, Yash’s British boss called him into his office and gave him some news – “Your work ethic and performance have been most appreciated Yash, so the newly formed leadership team in London have decided to make you an offer to lead our IT Consulting arm in the US – we are proposing, that you move to New York in the coming months. We shall begin the visa processing for you and your family if you agree to take the offer.”

This was unbelievable! Jay and Naina were very pleased with the news. They were young and adventurous, and the thought of moving to the US was exciting. Their visa was processed in the next few weeks and Jay’s family soon flew to New York and started their new life there.

Vlad & Irina soon found work in Moscow. They had to make the hard choice of moving back and settling down in Moscow to remain close to their family. Sergey started his school in Moscow – it was hard for him to get adjusted, but soon he got integrated with his new friends. He stayed in touch with Jay and spoke with him every week on Skype. Both Vlad and Irina were smart and hardworking. Soon they grew in their careers and reached the C level ranks in their respective organizations. They were spoken of with great respect at different forums.

Yash and Naina were proud of their friends who they continued to stay in touch with. They had settled down in NYC and were doing reasonably well. Yash had done a great job at his work place and had earned a couple of promotions too. Naina on the other hand had to give up her hectic consulting job after her maternity leave – yes, Jay now had a little sister. To begin with it was hard for Naina to remain without a job for an extended period of time. But her little baby girl was too delicate to be kept at a daycare. She was born pre-mature and needed constant care that only Naina could provide. So Naina had no choice but to stay back home. Thankfully a couple of years later the little girl had gained normalcy and better health. But Naina had to take up a job that was not as demanding as her consulting career. She had been thankfully accepted as an elementary school teacher. She would work four days a week for a few hours every day.

The boys, Jay and Sergey continued growing up with their respective families. A few years later, after finishing his under graduate degree in Moscow, Sergey decided that he would explore an opportunity to finish his Master’s in the USA. He had been in touch with Jay and his family and had discussed potential options with them. The two friends were indeed very excited with the prospect of getting together again, and perhaps, studying together as well.

Everything worked out in Sergey’s favor, and he was accepted at the University of Michigan to pursue a Master’s degree. Jay had also applied to the same school. Unfortunately, he was not accepted – he was placed on the school’s waiting list. So now it became really a matter of chance – if an accepted candidate dropped out, then Jay would get a spot. At the same time, Jay had been accepted at the Cambridge University in the UK. It looked as if he had no other choice, but to accept the Cambridge offer. The friends were obviously not very pleased with this.

Sergey started his course at Michigan and Jay moved to Cambridge for his studies. When they were a couple of weeks into the course, Jay received an acceptance from Michigan. What could he do now? It really was a choice he had – either he gave up his course at Cambridge, forgoing the course fees he had already paid, or he forgot all about Michigan. It was a tough choice, but he decided he would continue his course at Cambridge.

After their studies, the two friends had a great start to their respective careers and lives. Sergey had already made his mind up to return to Moscow to be with his girlfriend and to start his own entrepreneurial project there. He did exactly as per his plan. And Jay came back to NYC and found a job as a Software Engineer there. A few years later, Jay got married to another American Indian who had been chosen for him by his parents. They started a happy life together. Sergey on the other hand did not have much luck in love. His girlfriend broke up with him and moved away to Ukraine. Sergey went through a tough patch there. With Jay’s support, he was able to find a new life with the same software company; in a few months he too moved to NYC.

Finally, the two friends got back together – they were now working with the same company, only in different departments. In a couple of years, Sergey met an American pharmacist at a party. They fell deeply in love and very soon got married. Jay was obviously the best man!

It had been years after marriage, and Jay & his wife had been unable to have a baby. It had been a frustrating and difficult time for them. As a last resort they had decided to try the In vitro Fertilization technique to get pregnant. After the difficult and emotionally draining months of struggle, there had been success. The family was delighted and everyone was eagerly waiting for the birth of their first child.

Sergey and his wife were more fortunate in this regard – they were able to have their first one with relative ease! The two babies – Jay’s little boy and Sergey’s little girl arrived in the same year. The two friends decided to buy their respective houses close to each other – so that they could be there for each other whenever needed.  As their children grew up, they started going to the same school in town. The two little ones became good friends at school too.

Being neighbors and friends, Jay and Sergey (with their families) often had their dinners together over the weekends. One Saturday evening, they got together, and became rather nostalgic over a couple of beers.

“Remember Sergey? We were neighbors in London and our families got together for weekend lunches and dinners often. It feels like moving back in time, doesn’t it?” said Jay.

“True, I still remember the last meal we had together – our dads were talking about chance and choice. My dad was suggesting that everything in life is a matter of choices, while your dad insisted that things happened by chance.

Now if I think about it, Jay, I have indeed seen that a lot many things happen entirely by chance – of course, after the chance, I have always had the choice to make a decision.” continued Sergey.

“How true, things happen as a result of a complex matrix of chances & choices. Isn’t it?

Now, I do have some news Sergey. Our company’s London office has an opening that recently opened up. My boss spoke with me about it – looks like they see a fit with my profile. I am being considered for the role. We haven’t made up our minds yet, but most likely this move will happen.” said Jay.

“That is great news Jay. We will miss you obviously, but the opportunity is great and you should take it.” suggested Sergey.

As the dinner discussion continued, somewhere far, far away there was a roar of laughter. Two little angels wearing white robes were seated around a gold table. One of them was seated on a large comfortable chair, and the other one sat humbly on a little stool. They were enjoying their game of snakes and ladders. Their board was huge and had millions of pawns spread around – pawns with different colors and sizes.

The angel seated on the chair was clearly dominating the game – he had a large multi-faceted dice that he rolled and followed every move by a burst of laughter. The angel seated on the stool was calmer – he looked much more composed and did not laugh. He also rolled the dice, but reluctantly. It appeared as if he wanted to move his pawns without rolling the dice. But that was obviously not permitted in this game of Snakes & Ladders. Here, every pawn moved only by the dice, and his dominant friend seated on the chair ensured that the dice was rolled before every single movement.

The loud, dominant angel seated on the chair was Chance and the other, more composed and shy angel was Choice. As they looked at the playing board, they could see their two pawns – Sergey & Jay enjoying their quiet evening together. And they were talking about how things happen by choice and chance.

The two angels found the discussion most amusing and hilarious. Chance said to Choice – “Look at these pawns talking about us! Don’t they realize that their choices also happen by chance!”

He then looked at the Jay-pawn and winked at his friend on the stool. His shy little friend appeared very stressed. He was sweating nervously! There was a large snake right next to Jay, and it would take him all the way from 98 to 8. Would the Jay-pawn escape the snake and move ahead? Well, the dice is being rolled now.

The Imperfectionist

I was born and brought up in Sweden to parents of Indian origin. My grandparents moved to the beautiful city of Stockholm years ago. My grandfather worked for a Swedish telecom company and my grandmother was an English teacher. My father was very young when they moved here. Daddy grew up in Sweden, went to school here and as a grownup young man found himself a bride – my mother who is Swedish, but is of an Indian origin too. Both my mother and father grew up in Stockholm, but were very much in touch with their respective families back in India – they visited their grandparents for holidays, played with their Indian cousins, and came to know and understand India over time. However, my case was very different.

I had a nearly perfect life in Stockholm – great education, total comfort, plenty of opportunities, exotic vacations: everything just perfect! After 22 years in Europe, I had never really visited India – the place of my origin. I knew India only from books and documentaries. So on my 23^rd birthday, after my graduation, before I started my first job, I decided that I would spend a couple of months in India. I wanted to visit the country of my parents and grandparents. I wanted to see what it was really like.

My parents were not sure about this and advised me to rethink, but I was adamant. I wanted to do this. Isn’t it important to know your roots – where you came from? Well, to me it is.

I landed at the Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport of Mumbai in the early hours of the morning. As I landed I was reminded of what I had read about Chhatrapati Shivaji – I had researched about who he was. Shivaji was an Indian Maratha king – he was well known for his intelligence and street-smartness. Shivaji had successfully won battles and escaped from dangers simply by using his own wits. He was not a king who had numerous resources, but he was a strategic thinker who could apply clever tactics to get things done with limited support. The thought of Shivaji made me smile as I went through customs and immigration. I was feeling very excited to be on the land of Shivaji – would I meet him here, I wondered.

After gathering my suitcase from baggage claim I walked towards the exit. I was expecting to meet my distant cousin Rahul there. I had reached out to him earlier and had asked him to pick me up at the airport. We were to drive back to the family house in the outskirts of Mumbai, where my father’s cousin resided with his family. I was indeed looking forward to meeting my Indian family.

I looked around and searched for Rahul, but I could not find him at the terminal. As I took out my mobile phone and switched it on, I saw that there was a message from Rahul – “Stuck in a huge traffic jam, it will take me over an hour to get there. I suggest you take a pre-paid taxi and drive home yourself. I will see you there.”

I walked towards the “pre-paid taxi” counter and handed them the address I wanted to drive to.

“AC or non-AC?” asked the man behind the counter.

I wanted to experience the country of Shivaji, so I confidently said – “Non-AC please.”

“Are you sure Madame?” the man asked.

“Yes, absolutely.”

“That will be Six hundred and fifty Rupees Madame, to be paid directly to the taxi driver. Here is the taxi number.”

I took the slip of paper from him and walked out in search of my pre-paid taxi. After a few minutes of walking around, I was able to spot the taxi and its owner – a man wearing a white uniform.

I approached him with a smile, and handed him my address. He glanced at it and asked me to get onboard. For some reason I wondered if he really knew the driving direction to my destination.

So I asked him “Are you sure you know where this place is? I see you don’t have a GPS”

“Don’t worry, be happy Madame. I take you home”. He said confidently with a big smile.

I shall be very honest with you – I was a bit scared when I got inside the taxi. I had read in international media about several crimes against women happening in taxis in India. It made me nervous.

“Don’t be silly! It is daylight and we all know that media often blows things out of proportion.” I reassured myself, as we started our journey from the airport.

“Madame it take one hour to reach. You listen music? I got bollywood” he asked in his broken English.

“Sure, why not”

As we got out of the airport premises on to the “real” India while listening to some loud Hindi songs, I got my first shock. I had read and heard about the traffic in India, but had never really seen something like this. There were cars, trucks, motors, bikes and people everywhere. They were overtaking each other from all sides – left, right, center! I held my breath and tried to control my fear; I think the taxi driver noticed my nervousness.

“First time in India Madame? Don’t worry be happy. I take you home” he said.

“Yes, indeed it is my first time. Please drive slowly, I am in no hurry.” I said.

“You no hurry Madame, but me hurry. After taxi, I go to workshop in Dharavi. My wife wait for me. You know Dharavi?”

“Dharavi the slum? I did read about it and saw it in movies”

“Haha, movies yes. Dharavi my home Madame. Very good place. You come.”

“Yes, sure. I will visit.” I smiled.

“If you come, you come to my workshop. My wife make bags with her friends”

Now I was slowly getting comfortable. There was so much of chaos on the road, yet the driver was navigating amidst all the chaos with immense expertise. I saw how he made his way into small streets, how he overtook other vehicles tactfully and got himself out of traffic congestions as and when required. On a couple of occasions, he simply made steep “U” turns when he anticipated traffic jams. At the beginning, I thought he was breaking rules, but then he corrected me “Madame, you don’t worry be happy. Here this is rule”. What an expert navigator he was. He reminded me of Shivaji – intelligently & tactfully solving problems: that is exactly what the driver was doing too.

As we drove further, I asked him a bit more about himself.

“What is your name, and since when do you drive the taxi?”

“My name Ramesh Madame. I drive taxi four years. I drive day time. Night time I work in workshop. My wife have workshop.”

“Oh you work really hard Ramesh – day and night! When do you rest?”

“Yes Madame, children school so need to work. Economy not good Madame. I want to become engineer Madame, but my father no money. So I become car mechanic. But I lose job then become taxi driver. But I need more money so work on jute machine at night. What rest Madame? Rest on Sunday only. I see Bollywood movie on Sunday”

“Tell me about this workshop Ramesh”

“Workshop to make jute bags Madame. My wife do with her friends. Bank give loan for machines. We sell jute bags. At night I make jute purse and files for men. Today I go to workshop early – one old machine break, I have to fix”

“You can repair sewing machines?”

“Yes Madame – easy. Me is mechanic no? So easy for me to fix machine. I learn it from technician last time.”

“That is great Ramesh. Do you enjoy all your work?”

“Yes Madame. I enjoy. Work means good. No work means bad. Fix machine means fun.

You come America Madame?”

“Oh no, I come from Europe. You know Europe?”

“Oh yes Madame – Me know Europe – me drive taxi no? Me talk people from Europe in airport. You come where in Europe?”

“From Sweden. It is in Northern Europe, in Scandinavia.”

“Me know Sweden Madame. IKEA of Sweden for furniture. Me knows”

Frankly, I was quite impressed with Ramesh – he was a skilled driver, who could brilliantly drive me through the Mumbai traffic with most comfort; he also worked on jute sewing machines at night, he knew how to fix broken machines, and his knowledge about economy, Bollywood and the world in general was quite impressive.

We continued our conversation and Ramesh continued to surprise me with the stories of his life. Before I knew it we had reached my destination – our family home in the outskirts of Mumbai.

I thanked Ramesh, and opened my suitcase and took out a box of chocolates. I had got them for my family, but for some reason I gave it away to Ramesh.

“Oh thank you Madame. You need taxi you call me Madame. Here my card”

He handed over his card which was black and yellow. The taxi company was called “Kaali Peeli” (which means black & yellow in Hindi) and down was Ramesh’s name and number. I kept it in my handbag, shook hands with Ramesh and after saying good bye walked towards the house.

Everyone at home was very kind to me. After the initial greetings, lunch and some rest, my uncle described the plan for the coming months to me. It was indeed very good of him to have thought everything through – though this is not what I had expected at all.

“I will have my Mercedes with chauffeur at your service, at all times. The chauffeur is well trained, speaks excellent English and knows Mumbai and surrounding areas pretty well. He will take you to the most beautiful parts of the city – meant for tourists like you. Okay? And then after a couple of weeks in Mumbai, we will plan a visit to some resorts in the outskirts. You can also visit Goa if you like. It has lovely beaches.

I have also organized a 2 week tour for you to the south of India – Kerala, Trichy and a few other exotic places. Let me know if that suits you. Your father has strictly said that you should be given every comfort, and I will see to it that you have all you need.”

It looked like I was taken care of – but this is not what I wanted. I did not want to live like a foreigner – I wanted to live like a local. I did not know how to decline the offer from my uncle, who had clearly done all the hard work and planning on my behalf.

I think he noticed that something was not quite right. “Anything the matter?” he asked.

I decided to be honest. “Uncle, you know I really appreciate all your effort here. I also know that mum & dad are worried about me being here by myself. But to be honest with you, I do not want any of the comforts you are proposing. I want to experience the real India. Can I pick my own chauffer Uncle?”

To my surprise, uncle was not unhappy. He was very open-minded to my proposition and said “You know best what you want. Here is a local mobile phone, I have my number on speed dial. If you are ever in need, just call, and I will be there. You can enjoy yourself now – the real India will surprise you!”

The next morning I took our Ramesh’s card and called him. He was pleasantly surprised to hear from me.

“Ramesh, we met yesterday, you drove me from the airport. Can you become my tour guide for the next few weeks? I will pay you on a daily basis. Are you up to it?” He agreed to take up the job and that very day we started the tour together.

The next few days were full of activity – Ramesh introduced me to the local trains, the local cuisine and a number of different tourist attractions in the crowded financial capital of India. At times we drove in his taxi, at other times we took the local train. Ramesh took me to the popular and the unpopular destinations and provided me with detailed stories and history behind each one of them. We visited the Gateway of India, Nariman Point, Mount Mary Church, Colaba, Siddhi Vinayak temple and so on.

Each day with Ramesh was a learning experience for me – Ramesh’s smartness, quick decision making, ability to navigate and solve problems and extensive general knowledge continued to impress me. When he was not driving or telling me a story, he would be on his phone fixing some issues at his wife’s workshop, or at a friend’s garage. It was as if his mind was always in action – always working. I often wondered if Ramesh ever took a nap; if he did, I am certain he would be solving some problems in his dreams too.

After two weeks Ramesh informed me – “Madame, next week I no come. It is Ganesh festival. Big thing in Dharavi”

I knew about Ganesh festival of course. Ganesh is the elephant God – worshipped by Hindus. It is believed that Ganesh is responsible for eliminating obstacles in your way. You pray to Lord Ganesh and your obstacles – whatever they are, will disappear. The following week was the grand week of celebration in the city. So it was natural that Ramesh would be busy.

“Of course Ramesh, do enjoy the festivities with your family. I wanted to ask – is there a way for me to experience the festivities in your neighborhood?”

“Yes Madame, Yes Yes!” he said excitedly.

“So, I can come to Dharavi on one of the next days?”

“Madame, you must come! Dharavi my home. I take you there next week.”

The thought of a slum made me think of a place submerged in poverty and dirt, but I was taken by surprise when I actually visited the place. Ramesh, my tour guide very passionately showed me every interesting corner of the neighborhood. He took me to the residential and the industrial parts of Dharavi. He showed me the temples, mosques, factories, workshops, recycle-houses and everything he possibly could in this 500 acre land inhabited by over half a million people.

On one hand, it was unpleasant to see the living conditions – extremely narrow streets, tiny houses with many residents, lack of toilets and sanitation (I was told that there is one toilet for hundreds of residents), incredible population density (almost 10 times the density of the rest of Mumbai) and pollution of all types.

But on the other hand, this was indeed an economic powerhouse of its kind. Everyone I met or saw was a “Ramesh” by himself (or herself) – industrious and smart. Ramesh’s Dharavi is probably the most productive places I have ever been to. Nothing here is wasted – every piece of land is used, every speck of plastic is recycled and every minute of the day is utilized. People here have limited resources and comfort, but they know exactly how to make the best of what they have. They are hardworking and happy – they know how to solve their problems and navigate their difficulties with precision. I was reminded of my first ride with Ramesh from the airport. Here at his place, almost all people were “Rameshes” – their life looked so imperfect to me, yet they led it with such perfection!

I spent the rest of the day with Ramesh’s family. His wife invited me to lunch at her home. Typically she would charge the tourists who chose to eat at her place, as part of the local tours. However I was special – I was Ramesh’s “friend”. So I was offered a delicious free home-made meal.

After a visit to her workshop, we all gathered outside for the Ganesh festivities. There was a huge 10 feet tall shiny statue of the Elephant God, decorated beautifully. We were now getting ready for a few volunteers to pick up the Lord and place him in a truck that would then carry him to Mahim and immerse him into the sea. The truck was a few meters away, as it could not be driven on the incredibly narrow street. I kept wondering how the volunteers were going to carry the huge statue to the truck without really breaking it!

Ramesh noticed that I was looking carefully at how the volunteers operated. As usual he said “Don’t worry, be happy Madame. Nothing bad happen to Ganesh Bappa. He solve problems, so he solve this problem also – he know how to get into the truck”. I was amazed at his confidence – he was sure that the statue knew exactly how to get into the truck via the super narrow, crowded street without hurting itself.

To my total surprise the handful of Rameshes (I mean the volunteers) who carried the statue, did a fantastic and precise job at carefully placing their beloved Ganesh, unhurt, into the large truck. There were a number of obstacles on their way – stones, electric wires, cylindrical water tanks; but by Ganesh’s blessings they were able to eliminate these obstacles and solve the problem they had. I was full of astonishment as I saw this happen.

“See Madame? Ganesh solve his own problem!” laughed Ramesh.

The next few days flew away before I realized, and it was finally time for me to fly back to Stockholm. Ramesh came to drop me off to the Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport. We continued chatting as we drove towards the terminal.

“You know Madame, me sad to see you go. Come again, okay?” he said.

“Yes Ramesh, I definitely will. I am also sad to leave. But I will always remember India, Mumbai and you. The next time I come, I will be sure to call you.”

“Yes Madame, call. I drive you around again. And I also show you my new workshop Madame. I started best from waste project Madame, with my wife.”

Another impressive initiative from this bright entrepreneur! Is he human? I thought to myself.

As I got off the car and took my suitcases, Ramesh handed over a little parcel to me. “This for you Madame, from my wife – It is rotis made at home. And this is Key Chain for you from Mumbai – you know this man? This is our Shivaji Maharaj. He was great King Madame.” He said proudly.

I nodded with a smile as I accepted his humble gifts, and thanked him from the bottom of my heart.

As my flight took off from the land of Shivaji, I could not help thinking of the many Shivajis I had met, in the crowded Mumbai, in the dense Dharavi. The many Rameshes I had seen there, were in some way incarnations of the great King – these were the modern Shivajis: Kings of their own world, who were surrounded by imperfection, yet navigated the same with utmost perfection. They are what I call the Imperfectionists.