Father's Day

From a Father’s Diary –

June 17^th 2028

I start my life after retirement today. I have worked hard for the past thirty five years, and finally now, I have the time to reflect and think about things that have always been important to me – like my little girl who is today far away from me. She flew away just a few months back to a different land – a land of opportunity, to pursue her higher education. She thinks she is not-so-little anymore – she is twenty, but to me she will always be my little girl – a piece of my heart.

I remember the day she arrived into the world – I was on a flight to Stockholm, I was obliged to attend a client meeting which was of utmost importance for my company. If I declined, we would lose the contract, and I would probably lose my job. How would we – me, my wife and the little one be able to afford a life of comfort (and occasional luxury) if I was unemployed? So, with a huge weight on my heart, I checked into the flight, while her mother was in the hospital in labor. Her parents were with her thankfully. I was physically on the flight, but my heart and my mind were not with me. The worry and guilt of not being there with my loved ones when they needed me, were keeping me awake and disturbed. Was there anything I could do at this time? Not really. So I sipped a glass of wine and closed my eyes trying hard to sleep. What an irresponsible father I was – not being there to welcome her into the world!

After 2 days of meetings I returned home – I could not wait to hold my little girl. She looked like a red alien creature – so beautiful. My throat was all dry, and I was overwhelmed when I held her in my arms. I whispered in her little ear – “I am sorry I was not here to receive you when you arrived. But I want you to know that I will always love you the most, and do my best to give you the best I can”

As she started growing up, she started looking more and more like her mom. She also tried to behave like her mom – trying to dress-up like her, talk like her, cook with her. “I want to be like my mumma” she said. All our friends said – Isn’t she a mini-me of her mom? She surely is a mini-me of her mom. And why wouldn’t she be? Her mom spent a lot more time with her than I did. I would leave for work before she woke up, and return from work when she was almost ready for bed. I would travel for work once every week – attending meetings all over the world. It was her mom that stayed with her and brought her up. She heard her bed-time stories from her mom; she went to school with her mom; her mom cooked all her lunches and dinners; her mom took her to her ballet lessons and her piano classes. But she loved me nevertheless – never complained about my frequent absence. When I was around, she would cling to me.

When she was 3 years old we started thinking of her education. We mutually decided that we would send her to an international school nearby – it was expensive, but it was one of the best in town. We wanted her to have the best we could give her. It was her first day at school. We were seeing each other on skype – yes, didn’t I say, I was again not there physically. I was in London attending a conference. I could not get myself out of it – it was an opportunity for me to develop business with a number of prospects. So, she was with her mom, getting ready for her big day! The first day at school! And I was watching them from a distance, from my hotel room in London. How I wished I was with them! How I wished I could see her off at school on that first day! Again, what an irresponsible father I have been!

At school, every year she made a Father’s Day card and a present. One year it was a beautiful heart made of cardboard, with the impression of her little palm in pink. The next year it was the picture of a house painted over a slate. Another year it was a white cap with some art-work all over it – in different colors. My little girl has never missed a single Father’s Day – So I have 17 hand-made presents from her in my drawer (She started doing this since she was three!). I have kept them safely there – they are my most treasured possessions. I was almost never there to receive these presents, either because I was travelling or because I reached home late, and she was already asleep after waiting for me. I would find the present on my bed – on the pillow, and I would quietly open it, go to her bedroom, kiss her gently on her forehead and keep the present in the drawer. Almost every year, I would weep silently in the bathroom for having missed another Father’s day. Each year was a reminder of what an irresponsible father I was! I was never there to receive the presents made by my little girl, with her little hands!

Today, I have finally retired from my long career. I have all the time now, to play with my little girl, to sing with her, to take her to her school, to grow up with her! But it is too late now – she is no longer little, and she doesn’t really need me to do all that for her anymore. I have missed all my opportunities. I have not been a good father; I have never been available for my little girl, and I have to live with it.

I do miss her now, but it is midnight already. I shall call her tomorrow to check how she is doing. I think I shall call it a day for now…

He wakes up the following morning and makes himself a cup of coffee. He is sipping his coffee while reading news on his tablet, and the phone rings. He answers. “Hello Sir, we are calling from DHL. There is a courier we have for you. If you are home our man will be on his way to deliver it”. He normally would not be home, but today is his first day post retirement, so yes, he is at home to receive the courier.

A few minutes later the doorbell rings. He opens the door, makes a signature and picks up the courier. Who could it be from? He opens the box and inside there is a book. He has tears in his eyes as he looks at it – it is called “The Father’s Day”, and the author is His Little Girl! It is hard to believe – his daughter has published her first book, and it is called “The Father’s Day”. He is fearful now, that the book will tell the world about what an irresponsible father he has been.

He opens it and starts reading –

Dedicated to my hard-working father… who has always been there for me.

Dear Dad,

You have worked hard all your life – just for me.

When I was born, and you weren't around, I know you were saving not a mere sales contract or a “job”, but your family’s happiness and security. I know you did not want to leave me, but you did - just for me.

When I went to school with mom, and you weren't there, I know you were facing all the unfairness the world had to offer – just for me.

When I waited for you, and you came late to find me already asleep, I know you were finding ways for making life happier – just for me.

I know it was not easy for you to leave your little girl and go to work, go to face the world, so that I had everything I needed and desired.

As a little girl, I always felt protected and secure, to know that although you were not with me all the time, you were always there for me.

I know you have saved the seventeen presents I made for you, every Father’s Day. I also know that you look at them from time to time and you treasure them more than anything else. This year’s present is this little book of stories that will remind you of the good times we have spent together – some in reality, others in my imagination.

His eyes are filled with tears as the phone rings. He answers, and it is her.

“Daddy, is that you? Just called to say – Happy Father’s Day! You know I love you.”